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I have noticed a few communication terms that seem to need attention. I am interested in the various perspectives on the word “pride” and the obvious tension related to it.

In context, pride is often related to and/or defined as: dignity, vanity, arrogance, superiority and elitism. Also, more positively: character, respect, worth, acknowledgment, appreciation, etc…

So What is this ambiguity? How is it that this word has come to be so double edged? I feel the need to clarify, to myself at least, how a word can simultaneously be positive and negative the world over.

Let’s start with some actual English definitions:

Princeton -
1. a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
2. satisfaction with your (or another’s) achievements; “he takes pride in his son’s success”
3. the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards
4. a group of lions
5. unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem (personified as one of the deadly sins)
6. be proud of; “He prides himself on making it into law school”

copiosa.org Theological Journal (google definition)
is the excessive love of one’s own excellence, for which Satan was damned. It is ordinarily accounted one of the seven Vices (capital sins)

Oxford Online:
1. (noun) a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from achievements, qualities, or possessions. 2 a cause or source of such a feeling. 3 consciousness of one’s own dignity. 4 the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself. 5 a group of lions forming a social unit.
2. (verb) (pride oneself on/upon) be especially proud of (a quality or skill).
3. (PHRASES) pride goes (or comes) before a fall proverb if you’re too self-important, something will happen to make you look foolish. pride of place the most prominent or important position.
- DERIVATIVES prideful adjective.
- ORIGIN Old English, related to PROUD.

the Concise Oxford Dictionary clarifies that “Proud” comes from late Old English ‘prud’, probably from Old French prude “brave, valiant” (11th century), from Latin prode “advantageous, profitable”, from prodesse “be useful”. Additionally, “having a high opinion of oneself” may reflect the Anglo-Saxon attitude toward the Norman knights who called themselves “proud”

Roget’s II: The New Thesaurus (american heritage)
(noun) amour-propre, ego, self-esteem, self-regard, self-respect, (verb) congratulate, plume, preen

As a note, other research also relates pride to vanty and narcisism.
vanity - amour propre: feelings of excessive pride (Princeton)
narcissism - self-love: an exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself; “self-love that shut out everyone else” (Princeton)

Evidence of pride that can easily be seen is abundant. Pride can be observed everywhere in each facet of it’s widely diverse definition. Commonly:

The religious vew of pride, casts a dark shadow on our subject. Cultures have defined themselves by their pride for all of recorded time and presumably beyond. Rather it be nationality or Racial, it’s observable. An individuals sense of pride has always been regarded as important. what sense of pride one has in life, experience, station, fortune, etc…

The confusion begings at a very basic level.

First, the language one speaks limits communication in defining one’s intent. English is a poor language, it would seem, to communicate the intent of this quite volitile subject. it’s appearant that we, in fact, mean differently than what we say when exclaiming “national pride” versus being a “proud man” or even expressing affection in saying “pride and joy”.

Secondly, propriety should be question to better understand the nature of pride. With each of the various aspects of pride; are any immoral or rather unethical? Can destructive / negative tendencies be attributed to any? Opinion among English/American has pointed to trends in pride being viewd favorably or not based on generations and civil standards. Is this accurate? can the nature of something so exciting be purely defined by the circumstances of the time and/or place?

Oddly, I found I was inspired while writing this and it felt right, due to the nature of the update, to post it here as well as my personal blog. Think of it kind of like “Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy” since that’s how it feels to me…

Well, I’ve gone and just come back from London. We’ll review together why exactly I’m miserable having to come back.

I’m going to talk mainly about the only real reason I went: my Fim… However, I’ll note the activities we did as well, since some of them were pretty outstanding.

I spent every moment I was able to with my Fim. There were some limitations to time, so… not every minute of every day… BUT PRETTY DAMN CLOSE!

We spent time with my mate Adam as well as visiting some of the must see “I’m an American tourist” sites. Visiting with Adam was great, although I feel like I may have inadvertently short changed my buddy by being more enthralled with Fim than anyone could have foreseen or understood. It was still good to see him. So, sites seen: We visited Westminster Abby, The Houses of Parliament, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park as well as The London Eye and on the River Thames, were toured up and down given views and guides of some of the most fantastic classic London history, including many insights into the historic facts of St. Paul’s. Fim and I also saw the Millennium Dome, Harrods (fantastic shopping) and the Noel Coward Theatre. Lots of great history and cool geeking!

A few cool Highlights of interest: We were the 30 millionth customers to the London Eye and so were given some awesome special treatment (and I never complain about free pampering) We were able to see Avenue Q at the Noel Coward Theatre and I’ll tell you what, IT WAS SIMPLY BRILLIANT! I am left with an outstanding impression and would see it again in a heartbeat. We went to Harrods 2 times… one time just to go and shop… the second time… just to go back and get food! THEY HAVE THE MOST AMAZING FOOD! I’m honestly convinced that not a single thing in their food court is less than excellent and we seem to have gotten some of the cream of that crop even.

Lastly (I know this is lame) I got to take Fim to see Indiana Jones. I know, some of you are saying “Ray WTF??? You could have seen that at home!” I say to you ‘NAY’! Not the way I wanted to see it. I wanted to see it with Fim. She’s in England, therefore making it IMPOSSIBLE to see it at home. I wanted to see it on a date! I’ve been robbed for long enough of a date like that. It was time I had one damn it! Being able to take her out finally was incredible and I will cherish it always.

This brings me to the sappy sticky part of my post. I have only vague and lightly substantial words to explain myself and I feel the words cheapen my intentions, so I will simplify it and get to the point the best way I can. I’m part of something I’d never dreamed existed in reality, faerie tales, religion or in anyone’s wildest conceivable thoughts. If any of you, my friends, know what it is to be truly in love the way I now understand it, I count you as achieving the greatest single wonder this life has to offer and celebrate it with you now. Just having felt this feeling for the brief time I’ve known it, has literally altered everything I know and see. My love for my friends and family has grown in the wake of this experience. My love for my son, my love for my own life, my love for learning… I feel nearly overwhelmed with the blessings I have in my life. It’s all because of this woman in my life, my love. Even being forced to wait through the trials we face and have faced… having each other is priceless and worth any challenge and I’m aware of this as surely as I am aware that I will take my next breath.

Rambling? Maybe… Do I not really make clear sense? I do that… In any case, London was wonderful… But the English can keep it, I went for Fim and the experiences I’ve shared with her defeat every thought or care to have experienced anything else the entire journey.

I love her.

/End Sap

/End Indulgent Rant

So Long!

-Confidence

I’ve recently been rereading Mere Christianity and I began thinking about the tenets of common Christianity… it lead me to question a few things. The Question herein is: What are the common morals people see as dogmatic when considering all humanity outside of religious disposition?

I realize that all living tend to regard killing as morally wrong, but that seems like a shallow beginning for a moral universal.

People seem to generally value respect as a moral must. Any social culture includes some system of social hierarchy, even if that’s a completely linear one. Rather elders are to be respected, or those in power… It still permeates every level and border of human interaction naturally.

Love is a moral requirement for humanity as well. Love of god, your spouse, your children, your country, etc… Anyone incapable of displaying the thing most loved by one’s people is generally rebuked or shunned.

The effort of an individual begs to be included in the moral absolutes of man kind. Everyone seems to be required to provide belonging, value, labor, produce, something to be counted as a member of society.

Those are good for a start… the evidences of these being so can be observed by each religious group right down to subdivisions in belief and even merely vaguely religious gatherings.

Next time I update, I’ll provide citation to various religious references. Additionally, I’ll look for supported philosophical theory and political/governmental references too. I’m gonna see if I can’t flesh out more of common ground in the mean time.

-Ray

This image makes sense. Also, it’s a really easy opening article for what should be a strangely amusing summer of posts

Be sure to visit http://EscapeTheAsylum.com for news of friends and events and stuff

-Confidence

In this Essay, I’m going to Attempt to establish some basic thoughts. It’s merely an introduction at this point, but I’ll be drawing from my study of Greek and Roman Philosophy as well as some Religious reference and Some of Kierkegaard’s and C.S. Lewis’s thoughts.

I’ve wondered what it’s like to know someone. I mean to say that “I know this man because we’re friends” or to generalize the knowledge of another because of a casual but familiar working relationship seems to have a generally ambiguous tone that forbids any real clarity or definition. What is it to “know” someone?

I’m trying to really distinguish the levels or stages in which a relationship might be defined herein for the purpose of analysis.

When two people meet, they encounter each other and then maybe develop some social rapport in which both parties establish some enjoyment from one another’s company. We will hereafter refer to this as acquaintance. Simple and absurd though it may be to visit such a basic concept, here we have clearly defined our common logic just to be certain we see similarly. Acquaintance is a common event across humanity such as it is and the typical level of social interaction we each experience though out our day to day lives. Those with whom we are well acquainted can sometimes be removed from this simple formal social meeting however. At some point, we establish a relationship wherein, there is some mutual understanding of one another insofar that greeting formality is simply assumed or perhaps more. This will not become an etiquette lesson or a communication commentary; however it is important to see that we’ve come to a new crossroad in interaction and the potential growth in our personal and social behavior. How we proceed with these events determines the stages and future of our interpersonal contact.

I’ve come to see three major levels of personal relationships that we create as human beings: understanding, Knowing, and Loving.

The first stage of understanding is simple enough. You’ve come to a comfortable place with your social and personal expectations of each other and so dispense with some of the formality to a degree and beginning speaking more plainly with one another. Individuals who have understanding of one another perceive simple mannerisms with each other and so use them to ease communication.
Understanding can be as small as knowing what to expect upon greeting and unspoken social ceremony so it can just be assumed and therefore eliminated or perhaps altered. It can alternatively be a very detailed perception. A clever man may understand the simple behaviors of another by conversing with him and observing his tendencies as well as his traits which would drive him to act and react somewhat predictably to ordinary situations.

The second stage is one where individuals would progress to an understanding of a depth where complete interpersonal comfort was achieved on many levels and there’s a mutual understanding of the relationship from both sides of the involvement. To know one another’s minds might be appropriate to say. Rare though this may be, it’s conceivable that this is the breadth of true friendship and brotherhood. The bond between two people having achieved this is one of solid and unquestioned trust in general. The bond is one of openness and care but also of understanding space and self.

The third is simply Love. Now simple though it may be spoken so, it’s really not quite so in its behavior and experience, also, it is by far the rarest and rarely experienced by anyone in life. To have knowledge of someone so keen and a desire to continue the growth and care taken to that point can only become love eventually. Now the love that I speak of is one of a very specific and particular nature. It is a deep and sincere love of a selfless kind. This love between two people kindles a kind of emotional, spiritual and mental harmony wherein each may uplift and bolster the strength of the other by the simplest support or care.

We will discuss the three more, but now I’d like to look at the three as they progress. When two begin the relationship moving into acquaintance and determining the compatibility and desires each has to grow with the other, it need not be willed by both at the outset. Acquaintance and understanding may take place out of respect, mutual responsibility for a task, or other such necessity. Alternatively, 2 people may choose to be “friends” of a utilitarian nature chiefly, wherein they may experience some of the closeness that true friendship brings but only as it is convenient. Most interpersonal relationships cease with common understanding between those involved. To really know someone, there must be a commitment and a will to join 2 people together however. The knowledge gained of another persons mind is such that it cannot be gleaned without the consent of all involved and a real trust. Relationships of this kind are of a level that many family associations primarily rest upon. The strongest union and cooperation begins with relationships of this dynamic due to the willingness to accept and embrace the united strength of the friendship. To love someone is sadly an experience that humanity struggles to completely embrace. Love is a thing that can be experienced on several levels but for it to be experienced in it’s purity within a relationship many will never experience due to pride, mistrust and selfishness. None of these can coexist with love. Love is a truly unifying experience held to be enjoyed by the closest of families, parents to children, brother to brother and with lovers of the strongest fiber. Love stands through any weather, endures all time and fills space make no mistake. There is no cliché in that, I truly mean it utterly, as I also mean it to be taken as a substance of very real measure. Cherish what love you have, it only scarcely comes to the very fortunate and is even more scarcely rekindled once lost.

What Quality can be found in relationships of each type? Are there ‘privileges’ or real expectations within any of the defined levels? Many questions are yet to be answered by my study, but I’m looking to explore the theories of Love expressed by Lewis and Kierkegaard’s concept of self in order to establish the awareness individuals may have of each relationship progression. I also will seek to answer the human desire to have such experiences with one another as theorized by Socrates and Plato as well as Aristotle.

Will continue on at a later time.

-Ray